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Dating Your Spouse

I met Chris when I was a 19-year old sophomore at the University of Arizona and was engaged to be his wife a short 13 months later.  When we get married I was a few weeks shy of turning 22 and had just graduated college 2 weeks prior.  Needless to say our lives were VERY different at the beginning of our marriage 😉

 

It was easy to find time to spend together.  We went to movies, on day trips, out to dinner, whenever we wanted.  We had no commitments beyond our work schedules and our newlywed days flew by.  10 months into our marriage he deployed to Afghanistan and we learned the real art of communication over that year.  Gone were the movie dates and hello to broken-up phone dates and fuzzy Skype screens.  And then on his R&R we got pregnant with Emmalyne.

 

Everyone tells you how things change when you have kids and they’re right.  Everything does … but in so many ways it changes for the better.  However, finding time to ourselves is one of the things that has become increasingly difficult.  As we head into welcoming our second child into this world and our time gets that much more divided I just wanted to share one thing I learned after having Em: You HAVE to make time to date your spouse.

 

On Tuesday Emmalyne was in school and Chris was on leave.  Rather than conquer our never-ending to-do list we took the time to go to lunch without the kiddo.  And it was glorious. We were able to have uninterrupted conversation and enjoy our food at a leisurely pace.  Don’t get me wrong … life with Em is 1,000x better than life without her but it was nice to feel like we were dating again.

 

When you’re a brand new mom (or dad) it can be REALLY hard leaving your child with someone else in order to go on a date night.  But in reality, doing that is so very important.  I have come to realize that our marriage is the foundation on which our family is built.  It takes time and effort to cultivate it and keep it strong.  Kids pick up on it when there is stress in the house.  They learn about love by watching their parents.  I want our girls to grow up seeing how ridiculously in love their parents are and hope for a relationship like that one day.

 

Now, I HATE paying for babysitters.  It’s too expensive sometimes to justify going to a movie etc.  So Chris and I have had date nights at home.  This was particularly important in the beginning when Em was small.  It was easy to keep her downstairs with us until it was time for us to go to bed but then we realized by doing that we never have any time alone.  So we started putting her down for the night upstairs and would order take-out and a movie for a date in the living room.

 

My point is is that for you first time moms out there don’t be afraid or feel guilty if you just want to go out with your husband.  Your little ones will survive an evening without you and it’s seriously refreshing to get dressed up for a night on the town with your man.

 

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Published by

Madeline @ Food, Fitness, and Family

Healthy living blogger sharing my love of yummy eats, sweaty workouts, and my sweet family!

18 thoughts on “Dating Your Spouse”

  1. Absolutely! It’s so important. The times when we’ve skipped weeks or months have always led to less communication and more frustration… I definitely agree that making regular time for each other pays off for the whole family. When L doesn’t nap, she’s in bed by 6:45 or 7 which makes it doable to have an at-home date or have the neighborhood 13 year old sit in our house for half the price of older babysitters. There are lots of ways to get creative. The tricky thing for us is planning and making it happen!
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  2. I love this! Tim and I have been married a couple years now (with no kids!) and it is hard enough to remember to date each other and not just hang out, if that makes sense? Ha! We have actually planned date nights each week, one night he will plan and the next week I will. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or elaborate, just time together!
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  3. This is a great reminder, and sadly, something the father of my children and I failed at miserably (we’ve both moved on and are both in very happy relationships now, so it all worked out in the end, lol). It is very hard to remember in the beginning of motherhood that your children will be so much more well rounded when their parents are happy and well rounded as well. Great post !
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  4. Needed to read this as I am in the final weeks before our first child is born. I am freaking out over the fact that it will no longer just be me and my husband! Date nights are a necessity! We are going on our last special date for a while this Saturday and I am so excited!!

  5. I totally agree!! My husband and I have had this conversation a lot lately. We have an almost 9 month old and we’ve only been out a couple times without him. My husband doesn’t want to get babysitters because he doesn’t know any where we are and he’s worried about it. I keep telling him he’s going to have to get over it and we’ll meet some! I need go to out sometimes!!
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  6. “I have come to realize that our marriage is the foundation on which our family is built. It takes time and effort to cultivate it and keep it strong. Kids pick up on it when there is stress in the house. They learn about love by watching their parents. I want our girls to grow up seeing how ridiculously in love their parents are and hope for a relationship like that one day.”
    Amen! That is such a powerful and important statement! (And I totally cried !) I struggle with the guilt feeling but it is SO nice to eat in peace :)

  7. My husband and I don’t have kids yet, but this is still one of the things that we have to remember. We’re a year and four months into marriage, and we dated for 3 1/2 years prior. We started dating in college and had a lot of time to just have fun. Now, with crazy work schedules and other responsibilities, it’s even more important for us to have one on one time together! In my opinion, date nights are what change the dynamics from roommates to spouses (you know, it can be easy to feel like roommates when you’re only focusing on work and chores and bills).

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